Are you raising a "living room child"? How this trend shapes family life

By Daniella Gray

Are you raising a "living room child"? How this trend shapes family life

A new term is circulating on TikTok describing children who choose to spend most of their time in communal spaces around the house, rather than retreating to their rooms.

A "living room child" is the opposite to a bedroom child, one that usually plays and relaxes in their own room. A living room child feels comfortable enough to make their presence known throughout the home.

Dr. Martha Deiros Collado, a clinical psychologist, told Newsweek that being a living room child goes beyond the physical space. "It's also about how families accept and welcome children's play, their toys and personal items in communal living spaces rather than requesting that these are kept in their bedrooms or separate spaces," she said.

Being a living room child means your presence is seen and heard, as opposed to growing up in a family where you were expected to stay out of sight.

Jess Darrington, a mom of two from Idaho, first heard of the term via TikTok. The night before she watched the video, she told Newsweek that she and her husband were complaining that they weren't able to nab a free moment to themselves during the day because their kids love to be in the same room with them.

"But then after seeing that TikTok video explaining what it meant, it struck me that I was looking at my situation entirely upside down," she told Newsweek.

She was inspired to post her own video on social media and explained why she was glad that her children feel comfortable being in all spaces around the house. In the clip, her two children are laughing and playing in the living room, with some of their stuff across the floor and couch.

Many other moms are taking to TikTok to share how they're making their children feel comfortable, valued and included using the hashtag "livingroomfamily," which has over 900 posts on the platform.

While there is no specific research to back up any developmental benefits because the concept is so new, Deiros Collado told Newsweek that the psychological impact of feeling included in all areas of the home can be profound.

"Living room children are likely to feel more accepted and welcome in all areas of the home, rather than experiencing certain rooms as adult spaces vs child spaces," she said.

When families allow toys and games to be part of the living room's landscape, it "sends out a loud message that children are not mini adults. It communicates: children live here too and we let them take up as much space as adults do," she added.

This new term stands in contrast to the more traditional idea of children being expected to adapt to adult spaces without leaving a trace of their play. Dr. Deiros Collado said that this shift is part of a broader movement by parents, particularly those who experienced trauma in their own childhoods.

"Our homes are an extension of this and the idea that parents don't make accommodations for children feels old fashioned and dismissive of the value children and childhood bring into our lives and society," she told Newsweek.

Parents who grew up in a home where the only room that felt child-friendly or accepting of the things they enjoyed was their bedroom could have left them feeling excluded from family life, lonely or even under pressure to behave like mini adults in communal spaces in the house.

"It makes sense that if you felt any of this, you might want to give your child a different message; one that says, 'you are allowed to take up space in our home, it's yours too'," Deiros Collado said.

Darrington explained that her kids love to follow her and her husband around the house, even when they're in the bathrooms.

"Because they prefer to hang out in the rooms that we are in, such as the kitchen while we're cooking or the living room while we're folding laundry, it means the house gets a lot messier quicker than if they just played in their playroom," she told Newsweek.

After watching the TikTok video that defined a living room family, she posted her video along with the caption: "It's worth the mess."

While this inclusive style of parenting may work well for younger children, Deiros Collado said that as children grow older, their needs change and they are more likely to want private spaces away from the family more often.

"It's also about how as parent you allow your child to be seen and heard and give them the message that their thoughts and opinions have value, how they feel matters, and their interests are important. Children want most of all is to be accepted and understood for who they are," she said.

By breaking away from past expectations of separating child and adult spaces, today's parents are choosing to send a powerful message of belonging and acceptance.

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