BALTIMORE -- In what astronomers called an alarming yet compelling observation, NASA officials announced Thursday the discovery of potential life on Mars after a giant eyeball in the middle of the planet looked directly into the James Webb Space Telescope. "We are excited to share telescopic evidence of a colossal, audibly blinking eyeball on the surface of Mars, a finding that suggests extraterrestrial life may be present," said NASA administrator Bill Nelson, explaining that visual signals from the Martian eyeball, dubbed Olympus Peeper, were first picked up when its large batty eyelashes were fluttering in the direction of their telescope's sensor. "Further analysis is required to determine whether its unbroken eye contact was a threat, curiosity, or perhaps even flirtation." At press time, NASA had reportedly delayed any plans to launch a mission to Mars after the planet began rapidly heading toward Earth.